My Life
by Rell and Lala Girl
Summary: My life is diffrent from most of my friends. I'm in love and pregnant with an Espada, Soul Society is after me and my lover, and my unborn child has died. My name is Ichigo Kurosaki and this is MY life.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is Rellbell0011 and I hope you're enjoying Totallyperfect55's and my fanfics so far. Please REVIEW and tell us what ya think. I get so many ideas for fanfics but, this one I liked the most so ENJOY!:3**

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_My life is diffrent from most of my friends' lives. It's more stressful, annoying, and a life more for an adult and not a teen like me. There's many reasons why this life is so stressful but, I'll tell you the main three reasons why. _

_1) My mom and dad died in a car accident, leaving me with my younger sisters. The docs looked at the bodies and it turned out that Mom had lung and breast cancer. _

___2) I'm junior, soon to be a senior and off to college. _

___3) I'm in love and pregnant with an Espada._

___Number 1 and 2 you can understand but, #3 I bet you don't. Let me explain. Well, I'm a shiginami, a death god who protect and send spirits to a place called Soul Society, where all the other shiginami live. I don't live there cuz, I'm a substitute so, I don't really have to live there. _

___But, I do go to Soul Society when needed or to visit my friends and I kill hollows when there's no one to take care of it. Hollows are beings that eat souls or weaker hollows to get stronger._

___Rukia Kuchiki, lieutenant of the 13th guard squad is a former friend of mine, and a crazy ass midget that's bitchy as her boyfirend Renji Abarai, who's also a lieutenant but of the 6th squad. Oh! I forgot to tell you that Soul Society is divided into 13 court guard squads._

___A few squads have a special job for is known for something or example,_

___the 2nd Squad- Stealth Force_

___the 4th Squad- Healing Department _

___the 11th Squad- Best Fighters_

___and the 12th Squad- Science Department_

___But, enough of that, the reason why I'm telling you about my messed up life is because, I'm ethier in the maggot's nest or dead. You'll find out at the end of my story. Well, you could call it that it's my (as most girls say) "love story"._

___My lover, Grimmjow use to be my sworn enemy but, after the war I found out he was still alive after another espada killed him. We started to visit in secret for our daily spars but, slowly, very slowly, we got to know each other and BAM. We fell in love with each other. After we both realized it, we had some pleasurable, hot sex. Grimmjow just knows how to make me scream louder than a hollow's roar._

___Later on, I learned due to being a Vizard, half shiginami, half hollow, that I could get pregnant by a shiginami or hollow. Yep, you guess'd it, I was a preggers. Grimmjow told me that Los Noches was safer since he was always near by. Before I left, I told my closest friend, Rukia about it but, she just ran her bitchy, ass mouth off towards the Commander._

___They eventually found us and put us in diffrent cells. Word flew around about my pregnancy and soon the cubs (as Grimmjow called them) were almost ready to pop out of me. My stomach was the size of a basketball. Grimmjow said they grew faster since we have alot of rieatsu to feed them._

___Soon I heard that the captains were thinking of executing Grimmjow and it broke my heart dearly. I stopped eating the food the guards would give to me but, I still fed the cubs my rieatsu which was getting smaller by the day. My clothes soon grew baggy to me and my rietsu was so low that the cubs died. _

___I shut down after that. I stopped everything then. I stopped eating, drinking, sleeping, and I stopped speaking to Rukia who started to visit me. I just turned my back to her and ignored her apologies. _

___The only thing I did was love the cubs and Grimmjow and stared out the window at the village near Soul Society, watching and listening to the children that I'll never have laugh and play._

___Let's stop here so I don't spoil the ending for you. My name is Ichigo Kurosaki and this is MY life._

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**Once again, this is the reason why I haven't been updating. Sorry, please forgive me^-^. Review please, tell me what ya think and etc.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Moshi moshi, it's Rellbell. Enjoy and review**

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Where do I start? Well, maybe I should start at the very beggining, eh?

My dad, Isshin was the class clown but was the one of the smarter kids in high school. He knew when to be serious, but most of the time you'll see his goofiness. My mom, Masaki came back to Japan after a trip from America and went to Kakura High where she met my dad.

Soon it was prom night where Dad and Mom got a little bit too tipsy and...uh...made love to create me and my older twin brother Shiro. Dad, being responsible married Mom and took care of her and helped her through the pregnancy and labor. Later, on July 15th, me and Shiro were born.

Shiro was a healthy 6lb. while I was a little 4lb. (1) baby boy. Dad said that I was so small that I was the size of his forearm. I had to stay at the hospital a little longer than Shiro did. Shiro went home with Mom while Dad stayed behind, watching me as if he was guarding me from the demons in this cruel world.

A few weeks later I was ready to go home until Mom came with a dead Shiro in her arms, tears streaming down her doctors tried everything that they could, but they succeeded in letting him live for a few more minutes. When Shiro closed his golden eyes for the last time Mom and Dad hardly acknowledged me after that.

A couple of days later, Dad came out the trance and started to rock me to sleep when I cried at tried to make Mom get out of her trance, but she refused. Dad got so tired of it, that he called for a divorce. I was left in my father's care, while my Mom stayed alone, still in her trance.

When I was 5 Mom and Dad remarried diffrent people. Mom married a blonde, grey eyed, smart man named Urahara Kisuke. Kisuke was a laid back guy who (like dad) joked around and was serious when needed be. He was smart like Dad too, but he was like 25% smarter than Dad though.

Dad married a dark skinned, golden eyed purple haired woamn named Yoruichi Shinoin. She was a very beautiful woman. She was sassy, fun to have around, and michievious when she wanted to be.

A couple months later, at the same time, Mom and Yoruichi announced they were pregnant. Few months later, two healthy girls were born in the same hospital at the same time. They both looked very beautiful to Ichigo as he promised to both of them that he'll protect them with his life. Yuzu and Karin grew up as cute little girls. Yuzu was more like Mom and Karin had Yoruichi's tomboyish attitude.

Ichigo visited Yuzu daily, helping the twins with some homework. Taking them to the park, the pool, or to go get some ice cream. On few occasions, Ichigo would take Yuzu to the clothing store and Karin to the sport store. Ichigo always tucked both of them to bed and told them stories about dragons, fairies, and princessess and stuff. Karin would just roll her eyes and go to sleep immediately, while Yuzu tried to stay up as long as she can to hear the story. After they fell asleep, Ichigo would go to his room, sigh, then do some much needed school work to be done.

One day, Masaki fell ill and went to the hospital. While the doctor was checking her, he said that she had breast AND lung cancer and it was really bad. Ichigo tried to stay strong for the sake of his family, but he too, ended up crumbling as well. Kami decided that it was time for her to go home a few months later.

Yuzu was so heart brokened that she fell ill, but with a big nudge from Ichigo and Karin, she was back to her bubbly self. Ichigo was going to Karakura High soon while, Yuzu and Karin went Karakura Middle. Yuzu and Karin were a bit sad that they won't be able to Ichigo's smiling face when ever they passed by each other. Being a big softy for the twins, Ichigo reassured them that he'll pick them and drop them off to school.

On the first day, Ichigo dropped the twins off like he promised and was off to high school. As usually, he had eyes staring at his flaming, bright orange hair. Like come on people, it's just orange stuff on top of my head, but they kept on staring til I was out of their sight.

As soon as I stepped pass the gates, everybody stopped their conversations to stare at me. I ignored them, frowned, and kept on walking. A few jocks came up to me since I was clearly a freshman and mostly because of my hair. They lifted me up by the collar of my grey uniform shirt and threw a few insults that made my temper flare a little. I kept it under control and continued with my day and left when the dismissal bell rang.

I picked up the twins, walked home, dodge a flying kick from Dad, ate dinner,did my homework, then I went to bed. That was my schulude for the rest of the school year. I continued to ignore the jocks as the year went by, but one day, I couldn't take it anymore. I kicked the jock in front of me in the gut. For the others, I either elbowed the on the chin and punched them on their stomachs or I tripped them and punched them in the face.

I was suspended for a week and everyday the jocks' moms would come bitching about their sons' injuries. Dad would just lie and say that my Mom died a couple of weeks ago. The moms felt sympathetic towards me and stopped their complaints. Next week the jocks and everyone else left me alone, no longer staring at me. They all probbly heard the half lie and knew that I was sensitive so they backed off.

The next year as a sophomore, I met this guy named Sado, but I call him Chad. He's half Japanese and half Mexican. He came from Mexico where he lived was his abuelo who died from a heart attack. The jocks heard about fresh meat and was they saw Chad, they didn't even move from their spots. Chad looks more like an adult with his 6'2 and muscles fit more for a football player. His brown hair always covered his eyes, but somehow he's still able to see. A few times you'll be able to see one of his dark brown eyes, but you don't get to see both at the same time.

A couple of brave jocks captured him and beat him up. They took his chain that held a gold coin from his abuelo, the only memory that he has left of him.I found the thugs, beat them up, gave Chad his chain back, called the ambulance, and then we got the hell out of night we promised to always have each other's back.

Soon it would be winter break, but it wasn't even snowing yet. It was chilly, but not one single flake fell upon Karakura Town. One evening, dad had to work the night shift so, I had to watch the twins. I was relaxing in my bed when I saw _her, _Rukia Kuchiki, walking through my wall to my computer desk. After a few minutes of arguing, explaining, struggling, and shock, I found myself staring at the monster called, hollow that held the still sleeping twins in it's sharp white, bony claws.


	3. I Wonder

**Hewwo pplz! I'm deeply sorry for the longest wait ever but my school is an energy sucking parasite. There's projects, tests, showcases, etc. Plus I recently got into tap dancing so that adds on to the list and I'm in band major so I have to practice hard since we'll be performing in January and June. It's been awhile since I been in touch with this story so I hope ya'll enjoy it.**

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After all of that, well ya'll know the story so here I am now, ignoring the midget of a bitch that was my so called "_friend."_

"Ichigo."

Silence.

"Ichigo, please."

Silence.

Sigh.

Rukia got up as she stared at the pale and thin teen that used to be strong and a hothead. He just sat there, near the window that showed the village. His shackles were hanging off of his bony wrist. The same could be said about his clothes.

His orange dull hair that use to be so bright, full of life was now down to his waist. His brown eyes were fulled with anger, grief, and nothingness. His face looked like his skull was trying to suck it in, his cheekbones looked as if it would rip through his cheeks any moment. He never moved from that position near the window since the day his babies died.

"Ichigo please, eat." Rukia begged for the hundrenth time.

Not a single twitch of acknowledgement.

"I'll just leave it here." Rukia kneeled down and pushed the tray as close to Ichigo as she could. She turned to leave before the tear on her face could fall to the ground and left.

It was silent and not a single movement.

Ichigo looked at the tray of food before just ignoring it. His mind was filled with children's laughter, cries, and shouts. He always imagined him having his mate and cubs in a nice cozy home of theirs. They would always have BBQs during the summer, his mate burning something, his cubs having fun splashing in the kitty pool while he sipped on a glass of kool-aid , relaxing in his chair.

He sighed as he realized that that dream wouldn't come true. His life was fucked up from the beginning anyway. He wouldn't understand what it's like to have a normal life. To be a happy kid with his mom, to be a teen who didn't have responsibilities that an adult would, and most of all, what's it's like to raise kids of his own. A tear ran down his bony face as he sobbed quietly.

He was truly alone now. Zangetsu and Shiro hasn't talked to him for months and he couldn't go to his inner mind. He always wondered if he turned back to a normal human. His rieatsu was very low that shinigami's had to always check and see if he was still alive. He never understand why they'd do , they already fucked up his life as it is.

He's supposed friends were probably enjoying life while he sat in the cold cell. He couldn't believe the nerves of them to even call him their friend. Aren't friends suppose to have each others backs? Well it seems that they're no friend of mines. Probably just wanted to use him to stay alive.

He always wondered how his mate was. He hasn't heard word about him for awhile. He wondered if he was still alive, was he injured, being tortured by Kurotsuchi, or was sick at the 4th division. He never knew. He wondered if his mate would come and save him from this torture. But every single day tht passed by, his hope shimmers down a bit.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the bar. He looked through the corner of his eye to see red. Renji.

"Come on Ichigo. It's your daily check up."

Ichigo sighed in irritation silently to himself before going through the process of getting up. His body was thin with little to no muscle at all. His legs couldn't handle the little weight that he weigh. Renji ran up to help him.

"Easy there. Let me help you."

"You could have helped me escape." a raspy voice uttered out of Ichigo's chapped lips. He saw the shocked expression on Renji's face before slowly limping away to the door that led out of the maggot's nest.

He hissed as the sun was way too bright for his eyes. He closed them till they adjusted to it and began walking to the 4th division. Many people, as usual gasped at his appearance. He didn't pay any mind to them, his thoughts were else where. He wondered if he would see his mate for once. Maybe they could escape and produce new cubs.

"Hello Ichigo. How are you today?" asked the captain of 4th division, Unohana. He didn't respond so she continued blabblering about what she was going to do and how she would let me see my mate and how I- Wait a minute. Did she just say "see your mate again."? A little spark of hope was in his eyes. He followed eagerly as she lead him to the room.

She took his weigh, which continued to drop by the week. She took his temperature, blood pressure, everything and said that everything would be better if I start to eat a lot more. She put her equipment away and gave Ichigo a gesture to follow her. They were lead by many rooms full of patients who were severly injured or was on their wasy to recovery.

They stopped at a room. It was a plain white room with a bathroom, dressers, and a bed near a window. Unohana went up and gently tapped the lump, it moved as the person gave a sigh before pulling the covers away to reveal blue spiky hair with bandages on his entire body. Unohana stepped a side so the man;s view was on Ichigo who was still staring around the room.

Blue eyes became full of shock, relief, joy, and many more things. A tear ran down his high cheekbone as he smiled softly.

_"Ichigo." _whispered a deep voice. It was like the waves in the ocean, nice and smooth. Ichigo slowly turned his head as he felt _his_ rieatsu. It sent shivers down his back as he whispered one word.___  
_

_Grimmjow._

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**Yeah IK it's short, but it's better than nothing. I stayed up all night it's about 12:30 now and I have about 5 hours of sleep. Now my beauty sleep is very important so you better appreciate the hard work I put into this short chapter.**


	4. Author's Note

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ JJJJJJJ

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I LOST MY PRECIOUS! T_T

I lost my flash drive pplz and all of my updates were in it. I'm sorry guys but I'm having a MAJOR writers block. I'll try to update without it but it might take a little longer.

So yeah, I'll try my best to deliver more updates and you'll have to wait a bit longer so don't worry.


	5. A Shimmer of Hope

"Grimmjow" Ichigo whispered as his dull eyes had a small spark of light in them. A throaty deep chuckle filled the room as the mummy of his lover sat up and opened his arms. Ichigo smiled and ran into the strong, protective arms of his lover.

Grimmjow all of the sudden dropped his arms and then got onto his two feet, grabbing Ichigo's thin shoulders. He shook him lightly yelling "WAKE UP! WAKE UP ICHIGO!"

Ichigo woke up with a gasp, cold sweat running down his whole body as he breathed heavily. He looked and saw Renji staring at him, full of worry. Renji sighed in relief and then helped Ichigo up on wobbly legs.

"Are you okay?" Renji voiced full of worry.

"I would've been fine if you helped me escape months ago." Ichigo spat as he turned away from Renji.

"I can't Ichigo. I'm not as strong enough to fight against 13 captains, 13 lieutenants, and many other soul reapers. I'm just not as strong as you use to be."

"Well, you at least could try." Ichigo whispered.

Renji eyes filled with regret and sadness as he walked back towards the wall and sank down till his knees were on his chest. A sob rang through the silent cell. Ichigo eyes widened a bit and turned his head to look over his shoulder to see Renji curled up crying.

"It's my fault. It's my fault. If only I was stronger, I could have stopped your torture. If I wasn't as stupid as I was, I could have sensed Grimmjow's rieatsu before Rukia and helped you escape. If only I was a goddamn thoughtful and caring friend of yours, I would've visit you and make you smile and help you with your child. But, no! I'm a damn embarrassment to shinigami and to men.

"Don't be so hard on yourself Renji. You tried your best." Ichigo whispered.

Renji looked up with tears tracking down his cheeks to his chin. His maroon eyes were full of determination and hesitation. He looked at Ichigo who was fully turned towards him now, his eyes held a small spark of fire in them.

"I'll help you, but it'll be awhile for it to work." Renji said.

"Don't even waste your time on me. Grimm is probably dead by now and my rieatsu is too low. It'll be useless if you helped me. I'll jus-"

"BUT YOU WON'T! I'LL HELP YOU NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES! IT'S TIME FOR ME TO MAN THE FUCK UP AND HELP YOU!" Renji interrupted.

Silence rang through the already quiet cell. A few seconds later, a muttered "whatever" was heard.

Renji smiled as he knew it was the closest he could get an agreement from Ichigo. He ran out of the cell, locked it and promised Ichigo for some real food before leaving to accomplish his mission.

Ichigo sighed as he thought "_what have I done."_

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Renji ran into Rukia and Byakuya as they had what seemed an easy-going conversation. He tried to go to the food barracks without them noticing, but his goddamn bright ass red hair was so bright it could catch anyone's attention as it caught Rukia's and her brother's.

"Hey Renji. How's the traitor doing?" Rukia asked as if she was asking about the weather. Renji was shocked at the nickname Rukia gave Ichigo. He could've sworn she was trying to apologize to him a minute ago. He decided that she was putting up a front since her older brother was had to act normal until his plan can become complete.

"He's still the same, dying, worthless, and a traitor." Renji said emotionlessly. Renji saw a flash of emotion go through Byakuya's eyes, but decided not to pay any heed to it.

"Sou-Taichou gave me a little mission. Gotta leave in a couple of days, won't be back till a couple weeks after." Renji said in a bored voice.

"Ah man. Now I gotta watch him waste away and die slowly. Thanks alot Renji." Rukia whined.

"Whatever. I gonna go and eat before heading to my guarding shift."

"I'll see you later. Bye Renji."

"Bye Rukia, Taichou." Renji bowed before hurrying off towards the food. He grabbed as many healthy shit he could find and hurried on back to the Maggot's Nest. Ichigo was now near the bars of the cell. His eyes shined at the sight of Renji and the sight of food.

"I tried to get as many healthy things as possible. All we every eat is stuff that's junk food." Renji said apologetically as he passed the plate full of fruits, veges, and some meat.

"Arigato, Renji." Ichigo whispered as he nibbled on a carrot.

"


End file.
